Oh Hello, I'm
I am the founder and creator of Sol-Full Movement Mentoring, Lions Sol Pack (online support community), and the host of "Into the World We Go" podcast. However, who I really am is a deeply feeling human on an ever-evolving soul journey through the ethers.
I’ve walked this earth for 31 years now, but I was not actually awake for most of them. Almost a decade ago I began to stir in my slumber; the dark lonely void where we are alive but barley existing.
It was New Years of 2013 the first time I heard my Inner Being. I was in Ohio visiting a then boyfriends’ family when I felt my Inner Being awakening. Move here, I heard a whisper from within. I thought, no way, I can’t possibly move away from all my friends and family. And yet before I knew it, what was once a whisper became a booming voice, LEAVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. KNOW. What I felt and knew to be true were two things:
1. I will never know who I really am if I stay. 2. I will die long before I ever live.
When I returned home from Ohio, I knew I had no other option but to tell my family and friends that I was leaving. I knew the news would devastate them, however, it was no match compared to the pain of remaining in the loop I was stuck in. I didn’t understand then what I do now about how our souls choose heartbreaks and life altering decisions. I struggled greatly leading up to my big move to Ohio, but at the same time, it was the first summer I felt a me I did not know yet but wanted to. My soul was awakening and charged by the radical awareness my choices had shown me.
My soul told me to break my heart and the hearts of the ones I love so I can see how dead I really was inside, and the urgency for me to recognize my inner suffering. So, I went…
Over the next 3 years my life moved in many ways but sure as hell not as planned. I experienced heartbreak, failed relationships, dropping out of school and putting my career on hold, and moving back home. I was devastated and felt absolutely enraged at the Universe’s so called “guidance”. Why? I thought. Why show me this life unfolding for me and then just take it away? Where do I belong? I wondered most days. Will I ever feel like I am home?
At this point in my life, I had built my entire life and identity around graduating college and having the most successful career. I believed that if I graduated college and was the top of my class, then I would finally feel the acceptance and belonging I yearned for. I did graduate at the top of my class and received my degree, but not without sacrificing and causing some of the deepest anguish I have ever inflicted on myself. I punished myself and was the most dangerous person for me to be around. During this time my Inner Being guided me to spend more time in the mountains to find peace.
It was deep in silence of the woods I started to hear my soul again,
Learn how to hike alone, I heard. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard that. Hike alone?! Are you fucking insane! Murderers live in those woods and they are just waiting for me! It may seem small to some, but for this chick from Long Island, NY it was frightening and crazy! Yet, I did it.
My whole body was tremoring in fear as I stepped into the woods alone for the very first time in my 26 years of life. My heart was pounding much more from anxiety than anything else. Each step I took everything in my being said, TURN BACK NOW! But I continued to climb. Just make it to the next tree. I repeated over and over.
Suddenly, there in front of me were the most beautiful Blue Flag Iris I had ever seen. I sat with them for a while and felt my anxiety melt into Mother Earth. I felt held. I felt loved.
I solo hiked many times after that day for the next 3 years (until 2020). I began to learn that no matter what I went through in my life, Mama Earth would understand and will know. I never had to explain anything to her. She just always knew. I told her my deepest secrets and greatest conflictions. She listened as I walked and captured her essence in photographs. Again and again, she brought me back home to her. Through the birds, trees, mountains, lakes, and creeks, she heard my cries and prayers. Again, the whisper of Inner Being rang softly and familiar sounding now,
You are an awakening lioness who is meant to gather her pack of fellow healing beings and light the fire of rebirth. Let your pain be known and felt so you can be transformed.
The Universe sure has funny ways of showing us our path sometimes though, don't you agree? For me, the Universe decided to literally bite me to wake me up from my slumber once and for all. In late March 2020, I was unexpectedly attacked by a dog in the woods. The woods I had grew to love. The woods that welcomed me home. In a matter of seconds, what was once my most sacred connection became my most feared place to be. What I experienced within me was earth quaking and devastating. Why? Why show me the path to salvation and take it away AGAIN! I was infuriated, shattered, and I felt like the walls of my entire life was crashing in on me.
The day that dog attacked me was the day I died and became reborn again.
I made many efforts to still deny my true pain, however, months after the dog attack I arrived to the desert in late September 2020 with my husband. I found myself having no other opposition but to feel. I was drowning while simultaneously being sucked dry and lifeless by the desert climate.
I cried and pleaded for a version of me I did not know but I knew had to be real because I felt her in those mountains. I knew she was real because why would God take away all I knew and had again? Why would fires be set to my planned path if I was actually meant to live it? I questioned my life because I knew there was a better way for me to love, live, and share compassion with myself.
Don Miguel Ruiz emphasizes, "when you go to the desert you meet your demons face-to-face. After coming out of the desert, all those demons become angels.”
I came to the desert to heal my wounded heart that believed she was not deserving of self-love and self-trust.
I was shown the land of one of God’s first creations to understand that I am not searching for a home, I am home in me.
I always lived my life believing I was losing
and falling short to everyone one around me. Yet, all these years what I was really chasing was something I didn't even know could possibly exist, let alone inside me...and yet here I am, real as ever.
I have always existed but now I choose to be apart of my own living.
Whether you live in an actual desert or find your life to be one, our angels speak in the silence of the night sky. They echo ancient songs from in the stars. Where all seems hopeless and lifeless in the desert, there you are;
living proof that life will prevail, and all will be well.
I am grateful to be here on this timeline with you. May we live joyously in our beautiful oasis. May we graciously step into our truth. May we welcome the love we are meant to receive. May we truly see ourselves; whole human & soul.
We are safe now no need to ever hide our suffering again.
The journey to self is a sacred one, and through my own path, learnings, trails and tribulations, I am here to assist you in the awakening of your own Inner Being.
Thank you for witnessing me.